Coping Skill – Emotional Mastery

The most important decision you make today is to be in a good mood.”



“I’m lucky for the anxiety, because it also makes me high-energy.”

Actress Emma Stone revealed on a late night talk show about her anxiety issues and how she had treatment for it as a child. To this day she suffers from anxiety but no longer the debilitating panic attacks that often come with the affliction.

Her affirmation that she is grateful for the anxiety is a great example of how to mentally switch how you view anxiety. It is nigh impossible to be in a grateful state and a state of hi-anxiety at the same time. It is difficult to be angry and grateful at the same time and our emotive states are a choice if you can learn to master them.


Victor Frankl’s landmark book “Man’s Search for Meaning” details his time in the Nazi Concentration Camps and separately how Logotherapy works often bridging the two sections with examples.

Despite its weighty subjects, it is a “light” read, yet one of those books that forever changes your perspective on things. Within the book, Frankl specifically talks about Paradoxical Intention. Where a patient re-frames the situation to a positive context. In the book, he talks about a patient who perspired profusely in social situations. That is until he would joke to others to watch him perspire a gallon of sweat. By turning it into a joke, he cuts the “vicious circle” and “takes the wind out of anxieties sails”. Much like Roberto Benigni’s Oscar winning film “Life is Beautiful’” on the same subject matter.

The Skill:

Insomnia is another example mentioned where people who try to go to sleep but cannot, should try to stay awake and see how sleepy they feel then.

Milton Erickson was a master of the art of ‘prepping’ a client so that reframes would take hold. He would regularly use, singly or in many artful combinations:

– surprise

– shock

– humour

– curiosity

– hypnosis

– practical demonstration and instruction.

All these different techniques would get people’s full attention, loosen them up and get them into the right frame of mind for his reframes to take root. He would then deliver a carefully crafted and individually targeted ‘new perspective’ that would completely alter the troubling and limiting ideas that were causing them unnecessary difficulty in life.

Reframing requires seeing something in a new way, in a context that allows us to recognize and appreciate positive aspects of our situation. Reframing helps us to use whatever life hands us as opportunities to be taken advantage of, rather than problems to be avoided. Breakdowns, no matter from what source, illness, accident, and losses are transformed into challenges and new possibilities to experience life more fully and to become a more whole human being.

Emotions come and go – accept that and better feelings are on their way.

Our prevailing attitude becomes one of optimism. You become what you think about all day long.

We are not responsible for other people’s thoughts, they are none of our business.

Quality of sleep and how much affect our mental state.

Then can we find resources we didn’t know we had, and continue our movement toward wholeness. When life brings you lemons, make lemonade.







Other Compatible Coping Skills

How many stars would you award this coping skill?